The Celtic Women Band

The Celtic Women are annoying. Even their name is unimaginative. K.P.

There's nothing about The Celtic Women that I like
The Spice Girls meet Riverdance - mannequins with a mic
I find them so annoying
Even their name is boring
Ireland is lovely, but this Irish chick band can take a hike

Plastic Packaging That's Hard to Open.

Peeve: Plastic packaging that's ridiculously hard to open. E.N.

Plastic packaging is now beyond absurd
Impossible to open, designed by a nerd
It's brought me to tears
Lord, where are my shears?
This useless design stinks worse than a turd.

People Who Use Email Signature "Peace"

Peeve: People who use email signature "peace." J.H.

At the end of your emails, you always write "peace"
Are you Ghandi? John Lennon? No, none of these
You come off like a hippie
To me, it's just dippy
I hereby order you to desist and cease

Persistent Snow, Sleet, Rain and Ice

My pet peeve is persistent snow, sleet, rain, ice. A haiku please.

Cold, snow, sleet, rain, ice
Everyone is a snowman
Abominable

Sappy Forwarded Email Messages

Sappy forwarded messages. Either they're from someone your choose not to know anymore; hey tell you & 25 other friends how special you are; or they end with a threat of severe misfortune if you don’t pass the chain to 10 other “friends."

You send forwarded messages that I don't want
I must send to friends, or risk... misfortune or taunt
I'm going to pass
Think of it as gas
Like an email ghoul, my inbox you haunt

The Phrase Baby Bump

I'm sick of the phrase "baby bump." I didn't think it was cute the first time I heard it and now it's really worn out. It's so 2008.

Ever since the phrase "baby bump" was coined
I've not found it cute, and I've been annoyed
It's so overused
I'm just not amused
Dumb terms such as this, we should all avoid

Books That are Not Returned

Why do people think they don't have to return a book they have borrowed? I love my books and I'm willing to share but I do want them back. Thanks. -LMC

I lent you a book but I never got it back
I've kept my mouth shut and cut you lots of slack
I should have charged late fees
Or held on to your keys
I thought you were gracious, but you're really a sad sack.

Using the Word "is" Twice in a Row

I can’t stand when people use the word “is” twice, in phrases like” “the problem is, is that…” and “the truth is, is that…” How does that even SOUND correct to people who say is? You just SAID that word, why are you saying it twice?? Ugh. - D.W.

The problem is, is that you've said "is" twice
Forgive me if this comment doesn't sound nice
But one is is enough
This rule isn't that tough
Unless you stutter, one is will suffice

Phone Callers Who Don't Identify Themselves

Telephone callers who don't identify themselves. Many telephone callers don't identify themselves and expect, (i) that the recipient enjoys Caller ID, or (ii) the recipient to recognize their voice (a sign of egocentrism if ever there was one). Please write a snappy haiku I can use to respond with.

Introduce yourself
You know I can't see you, right?
It's a freaking phone!

When Cabbies Drive Slowly, Even With No Fare

When cabbies drive slowly, even when they don't have a fare in the car!! - K.H.

The cabbie takes the longest route from here to there
He wrongly thinks that I must have some cash to spare
I see what you're about
Taking the slowest route
When you do it with no rider, that's no fare!