Backing out of Parking Spaces Without Looking

Drivers who back out of their parking spaces without looking if someone else has already begun to back out before them.

Backing up without looking was your decision
But thanks to me, we avoided a collision
Your pullout method is wrong
You drive like an ole ding dong
You cut me off like a routine circumcision

Using a Napkin in Place of a Tissue at the Table

How disgusting is it when someone uses a table napkin to blow their nose at the table? This really grosses me out. -C.W.

Your nose, my mind, blown
Unsanitary napkin
Snot appetizing

That Plastic Piece of Tag That Gets Stuck in the Shirt

Trying to get that last piece of plastic from the tag you just cut off your new shirt. If you don't get that little piece of plastic thread, it will rub you the wrong way. And sometimes that last piece woven right inside of the fabric. Curses! -L.P.

To the workers who put store tags on the shirts
Push it through, if you don't, it gets stuck and hurts
That piece of plastic
Makes me go spastic
I've seen it on dresses, pants, even on skirts

Wire Grass Takes Over My Lawn

Wire grass has taken over my yard so no green lawn until late April, it is in my borders choking the life out of my plants and if I stand still too long it starts growing up my legs.-L.C.

I planted some wire grass and now I regret it
If I try to grow flowers or plants, forget it
The grass takes them over
Worse than vines or clover
What's done is done, I'll drink some wine and not fret it

When People Eat Only the Tip of Asparagus

People who eat only the tips of perfectly good asparagus. -S.S.

There's more to asparagus than just the tip
The whole stalk's good, try sauteed or in some dip
It's good for you, honey
Makes your pee smell funny
I like broiled topped with cheese to give it some zip

State Legislators Who Condone Discrimination

How about Ken Cuccinelli trying to turn all state schools into extensions of Regent University?

You say that schools can't protect the rights of gays
Fair minded people hope you don't get your way
You need a mental deposit
Are you perhaps in the closet?
I swear I saw you at last night's cabaret

Roommates Who Leave Facial Hair on the Sink After Trimming

When my male roommates (past & present) trim their facial hair over the sink and leave the evidence there without cleaning up. gross! it's like not flushing the toilet. -M.O.

The habit you have is just what I feared
A roommate who leaves clues of a trimmed beard
I'm on the brink
Hairs on the sink
It seems all decorum has disappeared

Guy in Car in Front of Me Spits

At a stop light, car door ahead opens and guy spits. UuGH!! Trapped! - D.F.H.

I'm stuck behind a gross guy in a truck
Big man is the spitting image of yuck
His loogie is hocked
While my car is blocked
I guess I'm lucky...he didn't upchuck

People Who Dump Trash by a Country Lane

People who drive onto quiet country lanes to dump bags of rubbish at the roadside. - B.G.

Human pigs dump trash
Country road's beauty tarnished
John Denver would cry

Having to do Homework on a Sunny Day

Having to do homework on a sunny day. - S.C.

It pains me to work on a beautiful day
But this homework is due, so I shouldn't play
My specialization
Is procrastination
Aw, screw a good grade, I'll live for today!