Dogs Left in Hot Cars With Just a Window Cracked

when people leave their dogs in cars in hot weather and think it is ok because the windows are CRACKED....like that itty bitty amount of air coming in will help....LEAVE THE DOG AT HOME! - kb

How'd you like to be left in a car
The temperature of a burning cigar
You don't deserve Spot
He hates you a lot
I'd like to give you more than a scar

Being Forced to Complete Pointless Spreadheets

My employer is making my team log everything we do on a spreadsheet, feeding us some bullshit line about some accreditation company coming in to do an audit, when really we are having to prove we are working. - KK

There is no audit
You know it and I know it
Spreadsheet up your ass

The Words Ironical and Irregardless

The Words Ironical and Irregardless - A.H.
A.H. - To date, the word "irregardless" is my most frequently submitted peeve. But "ironical" is a new one. Here you go...

What you say should not ever be said
"Irregardless" should stay in your head
Find this sardonic?
It is ironic
Ironical makes me see red

People Who Tell The Same Stories Over and Over

Dervish, my friend tells us the same things over and over. It's like she doesn't remember telling us the story the first three times. And then, when someone new walks in, she tells it again. Help please. - FD

It's like your mouth got stuck in rewind
To repeat stories you are inclined
One time is enough
To hear all this stuff
We all think that you're losing your mind

Those Who Read the Menu Aloud

dervish, one of my peeves is when my dining partner reads the menu aloud when i am reading my menu. haiku please. LM

Menu recital
I can't concentrate on mine
Here, eat my bread. Please.

People Who Say Itch Instead of Scratch

why do people say they are itching their itch when they are scratching their itch? a haiku or limerick please. - CW

I do not want to sound like a bitch
But the verb is "scratch" it is not "itch"
I'll learn you real good
To talk like you should
So next time you speak I won't twitch

People Who Mix Their Metaphors

A haiku, please for all those people who mix their metaphors. They drive me up a tree without a paddle! -BC

Keep in tact metaphors and cliches
I say if there's a will, there's a way
Don't mix up the words
One stone kills two birds
Go for broke, my way or the highway

Republicans Who Send Me Emails I'll Never Agree With

I desperately need you to write a limerick or a haiku about Republican friends who forward me anti-Obama emails that are stupid, insulting, and childish. They all know I have a giant Obama painting in my house, so they can't be confused as to my feelings about our President. Do they think some idiotic right-wing spewing is going to change my liberal leanings?

I hate this right-wing e-mailin'
Your attempts to sway me are failin'
It may sound unkind
But it boggles my mind
That you voted for McStiff and Palin

Using Hash Marks Instead of Smart Quotes

Using hashmarks instead of smart quotes when the designer should’ve known better. Thanks! - JH (JH, I don't know what this means, but I'll do my best - Wording Dervish)

Designers should know
Smart quotes are used by smart folks
And you are not one

Crumbling Relics

My peeve is crumbling relics. (Today is my birthday)

Getting older sucks
It beats the alternative
So, I guess there's that