Why Do People Confuse Lose and Loose?

Have you done this one? if so, please re-run...it's griping my nerves! Lose and Loose. I'm shocked about how folks cannot use these words correctly. L.P.

The word "lose" means to "not win" and can mean "misplace"
But "loose" means slutty or pants that have extra space
Don't be a silly goose
Think Bullwinkle the moose
If the Dervish taught class, the spelling test you'd ace!

There is a Difference Between Your and You're.

One of the most common grammar mistakes is your/you're and it makes me crazy. Seems few of my Facebook friends know the difference. A limerick please, to help them learn.

"You're" with an apostrophe means "you are"
"Your" is possessive, like "this is your car"
Days on Facebook show
This rule, so few know
Apathy? Ignorance? Please raise the bar.

Those Who Say "Anymore" Instead of "Now"

I want to fly into a rage when I hear people use the word "anymore" instead of the word now. -DF

When you say "anymore" instead of "now"
It gets my blood boiling, I have a cow
Please speak correctly
I ask directly
When you talk, it hurts my ears. Big time ow.

Writing French Sounding Words With the Wrong Accent Marks

people who name their businesses with french-sounding words but put the accents the wrong way.

If you're gonna act French, do it right
Your accent marks are wrong, you ain't bright
You're not from Paris
So please just spare us
Speak the words if you must, but don't write

Incorrectly Saying "I" When You Should Say "Me"

Dervish, it drives me crazy when someone is trying to sound so educated and they say something like "This is such a good example for Dawn and I."

You don't say "I," in this case say "me"
Take out the other's name and you'll see
"Give it to I"
That doesn't fly
Didn't you learn this when you were like three?

Those Who Say "Should Of" Instead of "Should Have"

People who say "should of" or "could of" instead of "should/could HAVE." "shouldof" is probably the lazy bottom-feeder's way of saying the word.

"Should HAVE" not "should OF"
You should have read more - you'd know
You sound like a fool

People Who Say Heighth Instead of Height

People who pronounce the word heighT, heighTH. Please stop!

"Height" ends in a T
Please get the H out of there
Mighth? Flighth? I think not.

Questions that End in a Period

don't you hate it when people write a question but finish it with a period.

Statements and questions
They differ from each other
Like you and scholars

Emails That Haven't Been Proofed

Dear Wording Dervish, my pet peeve is the email with grammar and punctuation errors. Just because the email is an informal form of communication does not mean that we shouldn't proofread.

I know this comment might sound aloof
But in your emails, you sound like a goof
Double checking's normal
Even when informal
I'd appreciate it if you'd proof

People Who Don't Hit Return to Separate Paragraphs

People that do not understand how to use a carriage return to break up their thoughts into paragraphs drive me nuts! -M.B.

I don't know why you can't hit return
It's so easy, even you could learn
Your words, hard to follow
Your head, must be hollow
This oversight causes concern

The Misuse of the Letter K

The misuse of the letter K - using the letter when there should be a C...I will boycott any product or store that has done this...Any thoughts? - E.T. Wow, E.T., this is one of mine too!

Don't name your store Krazy Kats
That shit just ain't where it's at
The letter C
Was meant to be
It ain't kool, nor is it Phat

The Words Ironical and Irregardless

The Words Ironical and Irregardless - A.H.
A.H. - To date, the word "irregardless" is my most frequently submitted peeve. But "ironical" is a new one. Here you go...

What you say should not ever be said
"Irregardless" should stay in your head
Find this sardonic?
It is ironic
Ironical makes me see red

People Who Say Itch Instead of Scratch

why do people say they are itching their itch when they are scratching their itch? a haiku or limerick please. - CW

I do not want to sound like a bitch
But the verb is "scratch" it is not "itch"
I'll learn you real good
To talk like you should
So next time you speak I won't twitch

People Who Mix Their Metaphors

A haiku, please for all those people who mix their metaphors. They drive me up a tree without a paddle! -BC

Keep in tact metaphors and cliches
I say if there's a will, there's a way
Don't mix up the words
One stone kills two birds
Go for broke, my way or the highway

People Who Don't Know the Difference Between To and Too

I hate people who don’t know the difference between to and too.

I see spelling's not your claim to fame
Words sound alike but they're not the same
You passed the third grade
But you should have stayed
Spelling "to" wrong, you should be ashamed

Those Who Don't Know You're From Your

Your vs. You're - need I say more? Get it right idiots. - CD

The apostrophe
Means "you are," you idiot
You're your example

People Who Say Supposively

When people say "supposively" instead of "supposedly," I want to pull my hair out. BD

Don't just make up words
Supposively you do this
Oh man you're stupive

People Who Ask Me How To Spell Things

My daughter has a pet peeve about people always asking her how to spell things. Why don't they learn to spell, look it up or try another word? KB for ASB.

If you can't spell a word, that's just fine
Dictionaries. They're even online
Please don't ask me
I'm no spelling bee
Your guess might be better than mine

Those Who Say "Should Have Went"

Perhaps a haiku to help those who "should have went" when they "should have gone." cw

"Should have gone" is right
More often to English class
You should have went. Ouch.

People Who Use Nonexistent Words

So, I can't seem to figure out how or when words like "alot," "atleast," and "irregardless" ever became real words.  Somehow they have since people seem to use them commonly these days, even in formal letters.  Can you come up with a limerick to ease my frustration and make me laugh?  Thanks a bunch!  - CS

I see letters that have these fake words
Not just stupid, to me it's absurd
Irregardless ain't real
It just makes me squeal
There's no brain in your head, just a turd