I Resent My Yoga Teacher.

I secretly resent my yoga teacher for being too perfect: She is calm, balanced, wise, and articulate; she has a perfect body, perfect hair, a pretty face, and now a perfect pregnant belly to match. She even smells good, which I noticed one day when she got close to correct my pose. I have not washed my hair since Saturday and ate cookies for dinner tonight. A haiku would really help. You teach me yoga And how to loathe myself. Bitch. Downward facing dog