Those Who Refer to Themselves as a Mac or PC

I despise when people refer to themselves as a Mac or PC.

You're not an electronic device
You've no monitors, keyboards or mice
It's easy to see
You're no Mac or PC
If you were one, your firewire I'd slice

Nail Clipping in a Public Place

middle aged woman in the doctor's office waiting room...clipping her finger nails!

Doctor's waiting room
You have the gall to clip nails
Now I'm really sick

Co-Worker Who Says I'm Crass in the Office

My co-worker says I'm "not professional enough" in the office. She doesn't like some of my comments or the way I dress. I get my work done just fine, so she can just keep it to herself.

At work you say I sound kind of crass
But I don't curse loud or pass any gas
I get the job done
Beat you two to one
Girl, you can kiss my dimply white ass

Incorrectly Saying "I" When You Should Say "Me"

Dervish, it drives me crazy when someone is trying to sound so educated and they say something like "This is such a good example for Dawn and I."

You don't say "I," in this case say "me"
Take out the other's name and you'll see
"Give it to I"
That doesn't fly
Didn't you learn this when you were like three?

My Husband Frequently Brings Fattening Cheese Home

My husband keeps buying delicious cheese and bringing it into the house. He knows I have no willpower. Damn him and his scrumptious dairy products.

Look at me hon, I'm down on my knees
I beg that you stop bringing home cheese
When it's in the house
I'm like a fat mouse
Soon, you'll have lots more of me to squeeze

Those Who Forget to Turn Off Their Turn Signal

Don't you just love driving behind someone whose turn signal is on and they never turn? Must really freak out the pedestrians and others in their path.

You give false signals
You're not really gonna turn
Lying on the road

Those Who Put Empty Cartons Back in the Refrigerator

People who put empty cartons back in the refrigerator and empty containers in the pantry. Why on earth would you do this?

Cereal's poured and I see there's milk left
I grab the carton, I find it's bereft
You've used it all up
Haven't left me a cup
On the fridge I'll install a device, anti-theft

Indecisive Fast Food Drive-Thru Customers

people at the fast food drive-thru who have no clue what they want should go inside to order - T.P.

There's a reason they call this fast food
Drive-thru indecision dampens my mood
Can't think on your feet?
Go inside and eat
Appetites lost while we waited and stewed

People Who Don't Identify Themselves on Voicemail

people who don't identify themselves on voicemail. "hi...it's me..."

Please identify
See, I have more than one friend
Soon, you will have none

People Who Don't Parallel Park Efficiently

People who parallel park on the street in front of my house will scoot their car up fairly close to the next, so the space is used efficiently. But there's always somebody who parks, taking up two spaces, screwing the rest of us out of a perfectly good spot. It's quite irksome.

Other people need to find spots too
And our cars could have parked behind you
Inconsideration
Causes our frustration
Correct parking rules you should review