Why Do People Confuse Lose and Loose?

Have you done this one? if so, please re-run...it's griping my nerves! Lose and Loose. I'm shocked about how folks cannot use these words correctly. L.P.

The word "lose" means to "not win" and can mean "misplace"
But "loose" means slutty or pants that have extra space
Don't be a silly goose
Think Bullwinkle the moose
If the Dervish taught class, the spelling test you'd ace!

There is a Difference Between Your and You're.

One of the most common grammar mistakes is your/you're and it makes me crazy. Seems few of my Facebook friends know the difference. A limerick please, to help them learn.

"You're" with an apostrophe means "you are"
"Your" is possessive, like "this is your car"
Days on Facebook show
This rule, so few know
Apathy? Ignorance? Please raise the bar.

Cyclists Who Don't Warn They're Approaching

I'm a runner in an area where there are a lost of cyclists. Could you write something about cyclists who fail to give the customary "on your left" warning before coming up behind me? It frequently scares me half to death, knocks me out of my zone, and is in general just rude and inconsiderate. D.D.

I jog along and you scare me half to death
Can't you just shout out "coming through on your left?"
Cyclists' silence is a blunder
Almost put me six feet under
I've seen sharper minds from those on meth

Yapping Dog While I Try to Meditate

Please write a little something about the yippee dog in my neighborhood. I love having my windows open but this dog drives me kuh-ray-ZEE! This morning, during my meditation, my thoughts went off as thoughts tend to do. But, you know where mine went? I'm not proud to say but I got a picture in my mind's eye of someone taking a gun to that dog. Oh my. Good about Massachusetts' gun laws.

During my morning meditation
Fifi next door yelps causing frustration
I long for her to stifle
Good thing I have no rifle
That bitch needs a larynx castration

Misusing "it's" and "its"

Possibly the most pervasive grammar mistake.

Look..."it apostrophe s" means it is
without the apostrophe...possessive
it's really not very hard
unless your brain's made of lard
seems a lot of people missed that pop quiz

The Inappropriate and Excessive Use of the Word Epic.

My current peeve is the inappropriate and excessive use of the word "epic." What can you whip up for me? -L.D.B

The word "epic" is overused by so many teens
Lip gloss can't be epic and neither can jeans
Your ignorance can't hide
As said in Princess Bride
I do not think you know what that word means

Loud Shoes in the Library

People whose shoes make too much noise in the library. Watching girls struggle to walk in 4+ inch heels is funny, but hearing them walk all the way across the silent study floor is a pain. M.S.

The library's no place for inappropriate shoes
The squeaking and clunking, you're not winning, you lose
Is your brain putty?
We're here to study
Please slip into something quiet, lose those Jimmy Choos

Huggers Who Hug Too Much & Wear Fragrance

It just doesn't seem right that some people insist on hugging you every single time they see you, especially when they wear volatile cologne that is permanently transferred to your body and clothing upon contact. I started my day freshly washed and now I have to spend the rest of the day stinking like someone else.
I think a limerick would help.

You hug me and you reek of cologne
I'd prefer you just leave me alone
Bodily engagement
Causes enragement
Now I smell like each fragrance you own

Sportscasters Hatin' on VCU During March Madness.

Sportscasters hatin' on VCU during March Madness. C.S.

Lee Corso once predicted the Hokies would lose
And BAM lightning struck his car, wasn't no blown fuse
So give VCU a chance
At this year's Big Dance
Or you'll take back words, like old lovers' names on tattoos

The Celtic Women Band

The Celtic Women are annoying. Even their name is unimaginative. K.P.

There's nothing about The Celtic Women that I like
The Spice Girls meet Riverdance - mannequins with a mic
I find them so annoying
Even their name is boring
Ireland is lovely, but this Irish chick band can take a hike

Plastic Packaging That's Hard to Open.

Peeve: Plastic packaging that's ridiculously hard to open. E.N.

Plastic packaging is now beyond absurd
Impossible to open, designed by a nerd
It's brought me to tears
Lord, where are my shears?
This useless design stinks worse than a turd.

People Who Use Email Signature "Peace"

Peeve: People who use email signature "peace." J.H.

At the end of your emails, you always write "peace"
Are you Ghandi? John Lennon? No, none of these
You come off like a hippie
To me, it's just dippy
I hereby order you to desist and cease

Persistent Snow, Sleet, Rain and Ice

My pet peeve is persistent snow, sleet, rain, ice. A haiku please.

Cold, snow, sleet, rain, ice
Everyone is a snowman
Abominable

Sappy Forwarded Email Messages

Sappy forwarded messages. Either they're from someone your choose not to know anymore; hey tell you & 25 other friends how special you are; or they end with a threat of severe misfortune if you don’t pass the chain to 10 other “friends."

You send forwarded messages that I don't want
I must send to friends, or risk... misfortune or taunt
I'm going to pass
Think of it as gas
Like an email ghoul, my inbox you haunt

The Phrase Baby Bump

I'm sick of the phrase "baby bump." I didn't think it was cute the first time I heard it and now it's really worn out. It's so 2008.

Ever since the phrase "baby bump" was coined
I've not found it cute, and I've been annoyed
It's so overused
I'm just not amused
Dumb terms such as this, we should all avoid