I Have No Dates and Eat Carbs Instead

Here's your requested limerick, ME.

My dating life has been somewhat quiet
It's disappointing and I can't deny it
So I'll sit home with my dog
And down carbs like a hog
And read of the wack South Beach Diet.

Lovers to Whom You Give Your Soul Who Later Turn Into Jackasses

This haiku is for you, J (and probably many others)

You said you loved me
You lying sack of pig shit
Better men want me.