How this thing works

If you would like a personalized limerick or haiku (and really, who wouldn't?), please provide me with specific information about your pet peeve or the offending party, and specify whether you prefer a limerick or haiku. See text at top left of blog for detail. You will likely receive your requested prose within 24 hours and it will be posted on this site - sometimes within minutes! Now that's a dervish with impressive turnaround.

Please remember the Wording Dervish is a bit vicious and cuts to the quick, so if you're looking for lovely prose, you've come to the wrong spot.

Still not sure? Here are some examples...

The Offender: People who hit "reply all" instead of "reply" when responding to emails.
The Limerick:
There once were some clueless emailers
They were dumb as whisky drenched sailors
They'd hit reply all
with no thought at all
to me, they'll always be failures.

The Offender: People who think others should dress up their dogs in cute clothes.
The Limerick:
I've become a bit of a fretter
when i see a dog with no sweater
Go dress up your dog!
You unstylish warthog!
And then I'll be feeling much better.

The Offender: A boss who just fired me is having a birthday
The Haiku:
It's your day of joy
But I wish you choke on cake
You're just older now.