I'm Sick at Home and Can't Make Soup

Would you please write me a haiku about being home sick and wishing
somebody would make me soup? Thank you Wording Dervish. Woe is me.
-MCE

Dear MCE, I hope you feel better. Maybe this will cheer you up...

Home sick in the bed
Can't stand, can't cook, woe is me
I shall dream of soup

People Who Don't Show Up for an Appointment

Someone sets up an appointment with you. They don't bother showing up and they don't call to cancel. When you leave a message saying, "Hope everything's okay. I thought we had an appointment, blah blah blah'. They never call to explain what happened or apologize. I hate rental property.

Your requested haiku, KP...

The appointment's set
Where is your sorry ass, bitch?
I'm missing Idol.

People Who Say "Passed Away" Instead of Died

Wording Dervish, my peeve is people who use euphemisms like "passed" or "passed away" when someone died. Why is "died" such an offensive word?

KP. Here is your haiku.

Gas passes. Folks die.
Saying "passed" won't bring them back.
They're dead now. Face it.

People Who Drive Huge Vehicles

People who "drive" giganormous SUVS and trucks....
Makes me nuts when people who cannot peer over the dash or gauge any distance whatsoever drive at perilously slow or fast speeds, ooze in and out of tight parking spots, straddle lane lines, and inch into intersections. would the wording dirvish spin a little something to soothe my soul?

Surely, LF...

I think you're a fool
to drive that honkin big truck
How small is your dick?